Waking Up…

6:34 a.m.?

I really just want to reach over and hit snooze.

I don’t want to get up yet.

I’m not ready to get up yet.

I ask myself, can’t I just sleep for 10 more minutes?

In that same instance a series of words formulated in my mind,

Something much more beautiful than any cluster of words that I could ever possibly conjure up.

“Surely we are Allah’s and to him we shall surely return.”

It was Surah Baqara, Ayah 156.

My mind raced.

Am I ready to meet my magnificent creator?

Am I ready for the angel of death to take my soul from my body?

Will it go peacefully, like a drop of water?

Or will it be like pulling a delicate piece of cotton from a massive thorn bush?

Am I ready to answer those three simple questions that distinguish the Mumineen from the posers?

Who is your lord, who is your prophet, and what is your deen?

What view will I be shown after these questions flow from the angels of the grave?

Who will accompany me while I lay in the grave awaiting the Day of Judgment?

Will it be my good deeds that I strived every day for, my acts of kindness, my fasting, my prayers?

Or will it be all my bad deeds because all I could ever do was chase the duniyah that surrounded me, engulfing me with it’s distractions and glitz and glamour.

My simple and fickle mind, not turning to Allah for strength and guidance, lost.

Then I feel my entire being burning, engulfed in flames that have been confined to Jahanam, awaiting people like me who refused to let go of the temptations.

Oh Allah forgive me! I am in need of your light.

All I wanted was just 10 more minutes.

Then the adhan blares in my ears.

“As-salaatu khayrum-minan-nawm”

6:35.

“Salah is better than sleep.”

So I make an attempt to get up.

I don’t want to be the one that has Salah save them at the last minute,

Because they always left Salah till the very last minute.

I moan and grunt as I stretch my arms and legs.

Shaythan is telling me it’s too early, that I should go back to bed.

But I fight the urges and the temptations.

My eyes burn as I turn on the light.

My skin shrieks as it is met with the coolness of the water.

Starting with the right and ending with the left.

One step after another.

Alhamdulillah I am blessed to see another day.

Alhamdulillah I am blessed to pray another Fajr.

As I wrap my hijab and throw on my Abaya,

I smile to myself and say Allahu-akbar.

Praying Fajr isn’t so bad.

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