Ramadan Lonesome

as ii sit here in this big apartment that is made for two, all by my lonesome

surrounded by things because quite often ii don’t like being surrounded by people

at the beginning of this blessed month

ii sit with tears in my eyes

for 5 years ii have been on my own

away from my family for Ramadan

despite thinking that wouldn’t be the case again this year

a week ago

ii sit with these tears in my eyes because Ramadan is the greatest time in my life where

my Iman is high and my love is flowing

and the time when ii feel my loneliness the most

missing the bonding moments with my baby sister

as we decorated the house with green and white ribbons

and searched online for our Eid clothes

and helping my mother in the kitchen as we prepare Suhoor for the family

and asking people to take off their shoes as they come in

when we host our annual Abioye family Iftar

and breaking my fast with my childhood friends

discussing how we’re not really children anymore

ii am regretting not being able to learn about the Tijani family Ramadan rituals

and the Muslim Ummah of Jamaica

but most of all

ii am missing the opportunity to experience as a wife

with my husband

waking up next to him each morning

preparing Suhoor for him

and breaking our fast together

praying behind him as he leads Taraweeh,

and reading Quran with him

growing closer together as we become closer to Allah.

this Ramadan

ii really miss my family

so if you have the opportunity to experience this blessed month with yours

cherish it.


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