Thoughts from my prayer rug…

This morning as I was praying Fajr, I read Surah-al-Fatiha like normal. Then I read Surah-an-Nas. And this thought popped into my mind. That is how short this life is. That’s how short this whole world is.

It was kind of like that notion of the tombstone.

“Khabirat Abioye-Tijani. 1992-2992.”

That dash represents your entire life and accomplishments. (Obviously I’m not going to live a thousand years. But I didn’t want to sell myself short.) But as a Muslim, reading the first and last Surahs of the Quran, it really made me think. That’s how short this world is. The beginning of the Quran till the end.

My life is fairly insignificant compared to the trillions of people who are living and who have passed. Everyone had a dream, everyone had things that they wanted to achieve, everyone had a mother (except Adam and Hawwa/Eve, unless you believe in evolution. But that’s an entirely different story.), everyone lives no matter how long or short and every died.

They all lived.

They all died.

And that is the only thing that is promised.

I think what I’m trying to get at here is, what will your dash be comprised of? No one will know unless they lived in your lifetime and Allah. No one will care about your fancy clothes or shoes. How big your house was. What type of car you drove. What fancy school you got your 6 degrees from.

What will matter is you role in society. How you treated people. The charity you gave, and not necessarily monetarily. Were you kind and gentle or stern and rude?

Your good deeds and bad deeds will be the only things that matter on the day of judgement. There is this video of Muhammad Ali that is circulating around the internet when a fan asked, what will he do once he retires. His response was, “Get ready to meet my maker.”

He recently passed, but that interview was many years ago. We all think that we have time. I’ll pray later. I’ll go to the Masjid later. I’ll call my parents later. I’ll read Quran later. I’ll fast next year. Excuse after excuse because we are caught up in this duniyah/worldly life.

If you died today, would you be ready to meet your maker?

 

If your answer is no, then you better start today, right now, preparing. Because it could happen at any moment.

 

Ramadan Mubarak!

I wonder if you think of me…

I wonder if you think of me,

As much as I dream about you.

Praying that you’re not a figment of my imagination.

I wonder if you think of me,

Leading me in Salah 5 times a day,

Building us a home in Jannah.

I wonder if you think of me,

Rubbing my belly as it grows Read More

Flying While Muslim

Flying While Muslim: My thought process.
Checking bag: Please don’t flag my bag. Please don’t flag my bag.
TSA: Please don’t stop me. Please don’t stop me. Just pat me down and send me on my way.
Air Marshall Gets On Plane: Please don’t pull me off. Please don’t pull me off.
Crazy Old Lady Whispers To Flight Attendant: Please don’t let it be about me. Please don’t let it be about me. Read More

Waiting…

I sit in the back of this classroom with my head ducked low.

Too smart for the black kids, taught that I am inferior to the whites, so I keep to myself.

My grades reflect those of a mediocre middle class school kid, whose parents care, but work too hard to pay me any attention.

My mouth don’t twist with a twang, so this Ebonics feels unnatural and foreign on my tongue.

As I sit in this classroom, my teacher attempts to fill these empty souls with knowledge, not knowing that their hearts are empty… Read More

Dear Future Hubby pt. 2

Dear future hubby,
You’re my liquid encouragement and I’m your crystal meth.
We find comfort in our addictions.
Trying to get my fix,

I need you.
Never wanting to let go,

so take my hand and guide me down the path that we are meant to take together,

Read More

Ramadan…

There as so many blessing that come from the month of Ramadan. We’re only on day 13,  and I have already reflected on a lot of things that I struggle with. I felt the need to share.

Stressing out on things that I have no control over is the biggest challenge I face. Fearing the worst, I’m afraid of what will be said of my  past and afraid of what is to come in my future. I have this fear of the unknown, which I face every day. A good friend once said, “It’s not the unknown, it’s just written in invisible ink.” I hold on to that because it helps me reaffirm my trust in Allah, for he is all knowing and the best of planners. Return to Allah.

Desire is our enemy, when  we become slaves to it. Happiness is fleeting, no matter how hard you try to make it stay. Turn to Allah, for He will always be the answer.

Read More

Black…

Black

Like the midnight sky on a winter night

Frost bite threatens to creep up upon our toes

While we lay asleep

Dreaming no little dreams

While black boys kill other black boys like cops and robbers,

But when we wake, it is no longer a game

Robbed of their innocence, hands up, don’t shoot.

Red

The color of the blood that runs down the streets of

Read More

Waking Up…

6:34 a.m.?

I really just want to reach over and hit snooze.

I don’t want to get up yet.

I’m not ready to get up yet.

I ask myself, can’t I just sleep for 10 more minutes?

In that same instance a series of words formulated in my mind,

Something much more beautiful than any cluster of words that I could ever possibly conjure up.

Read More

Dear future hubby…

Dear future hubby,
I’ve always been a sucker for a well-dressed man
So on this day, I ask that you bring you’re a game
We all know I be on my suit and tie ish
I need a man that can hold his own. I wanna have that power couple status hash tag
I wanna be on that tumblr reblogging type swag
Gotta look as good in jeans and a hoody as you would in a 3 piece suit
Versatility and functionality is what I seek
A double breasted, double Windsor, double shot, easy on the whip cream ,
Sounds like a perfectly orchestrated musical symphony created exclusively for my listening pleasure
I want to sit in your lap and play in your wild and untamed beard,
Read More

I don’t wanna grow up.

I just want my childhood back.
Where the aches and pains that I feel in my heart were nonexistent.
Where I didn’t care for the attention of a boy, I just wanted to ride his bike.
Where when he teased my, I stood tall with my flat chest out, and simply punched him in the face.

I just want my childhood back.
Where we would play outside for hours. Read More